Crazy Uncle Michael

                                            Crazy Uncle Michael's come to our place to stay
                                    To help us with the chores, but he's mainly in the way.
                                    He's 'sposed to keep the fences fixed and furrin' things outside,
                                    But he complained how hard it was before he even tried.
                                    Still there's somethin' that he's good at that us young 'uns found:
                                    When it reaches time for bed, we all gather 'round
                                    A-list'nin' to the spooky things that Michael tells about,
                                    An' Osama's gonna git you
                                    Ef you
                                    Don't
                                    Watch
                                    Out!

                                    He tol' us when he come that one of his specialties
                                    Was makin' preparations for the biggest emergencies,
                                    But then we had a fearsome storm, and forgettin' what he said,
                                    Even after it had passed, he cowered 'neath a bed.
                                    Talkin', after all, was the one thing he did well,
                                    And he always finds an audience after night has fell.
                                    We can't resist the scary stories that he parcels out,
                                    An' Osama's gonna git you
                                    Ef you
                                    Don't
                                    Watch
                                    Out!

                                    Michael loves to scarify and seldom to enlighten us,
                                    And just to show his face is all he ever needs to frighten us.
                                    With eyes that's sunk real deep into a little narrow head,
                                    Ef he didn't move his mouth you'd think that he was dead.
                                    But he sure does talk at night. He almost casts a spell
                                    With a voice and with a look like somethin' out of hell.
                                    He makes it sound so awful real that we have little doubt
                                    That Osama's gonna git us
                                    Ef we
                                    Don't
                                    Watch
                                    Out!

                                    There's somethin' truly strange that I heard the other day:
                                    Michael really ain't our uncle, but what they wouldn't say.
                                    He's got Daddy thinkin' that he's deeply in his debt
                                    For somethin' really monsterous that Michael can't forget.
                                    It's 'bout a thing he says that happened long ago,
                                    And no matter what we pay, he says we'll always owe.
                                    And that is what this warning's always been about:
                                    That Osama's going to get us
                                    If we
                                    Don't
                                    Watch
                                    Out.

                                     David Martin

                                     
Let us hope James Whitcomb Riley will not be too greatly disturbed in his grave for the liberties that I have taken with his classic, "Little Orphant Annie" (which was also the inspiration for the comic strip, Little Orphan Annie.).