Eighty-One Million Votes

To the tune of “Gimme Three Steps”

Donald Trump’s second run should have been lots of fun.

He was a well-known commodity.

His opponent, old Joe, kept his profile real low,

And he lacked popularity.

Election night started strong, but then something went wrong;

The voting had gone askew.

Before the key threshold was topped, the counting was stopped.

The public they were out to screw.

With no “excuse me.”

The scowling, plagiarizing, corrupt old coot

Produced a great big election surprise,

And the man who filled up stadiums

Lost to a geezer who couldn’t draw flies.

So we’re now all worse than liars; we’re “election deniers,”

And two plus two is no longer four.

Now it’s easy to see that our democracy

Is headed right for the door.

Joe got 81 million, 81 million, mister;

Joe got 81 million votes.

Yes that’s 81 million, a fifth more than Hillary,

Counting dead people, chickens, and goats.

For sure.

Well, there’s no rhyme or reason in our voting system,

Just lots more of the same this time.

Instead of transparency we have opacity,

Just a big invitation to crime.

To electronic counts add in mail-in votes,

And there’s nothing we can verify.

If no one trusts this election result,

It’s not very hard to see why.

Joe got 81 million, 81 million, mister;

Joe got 81 million votes.

Yes that’s 81 million, a fifth more than Hillary,

Counting dead people, chickens, and goats.

With absolute certainty.

David Martin